90 Years to Peace
by Uniasus
Summary: Before she knew better, Hevlaska would always think if only I hadn't , then things would be better.


90 Years to Peace

_By Uniasus_

* * *

Before she knew better, Hevlaska would always think _if only I hadn't _, then things would be better._

She had insisted to go with her father that week. He was working at a dig in Israel three hours outside of Be'er Sheva and would come home to see her once a week when he returned to the city for supplies. Hevlaska hated it, she missed her father and the governess was no fun. So she pleaded and begged and made her eyes watery, asking her father while wearing a simple locket that belong to her dead mother because especially when she looked like her, her father couldn't say no.

_If only I hadn't worn the locket. If only I hadn't wanted to go so bad. _

The archeological dig was interesting at first, but on the second day Hevlaska declared it more boring than the city. It was too sunny and too hot, there wasn't anything for her to play with, and she was constantly told to stay in the tent. Father and his men were working and she only got in the way.

Of course, she left the tent. Usually, if she was quite and stayed far enough away the archeologists didn't notice her and Hevlaska could watch them in peace. They weren't fun to watch, it was a lot of boring digging. So simple, she could do it to! But when she tried to help, she got scolded at.

After four days of Hevlaska constantly getting under her father's hands, he gave her own spade and brush. "Dig here," he had told her, pointing to a spot ten meters outside of the ropes and in his vision.

_If only I hadn't disobeyed him. _

She had, for a little while. But kept quietly scooting closer to the rope, moving backwards away from her father but still in his sight. He didn't notice, and Hevlaska kept digging.

_If only I hadn't insisted on helping Father and digging._

She found something, oh she found something. It was a gold coin, detailed with faint, delicate etchings. There mere mini circles placed around the rings, words in a language she didn't know, and a tug, a calling, a understanding that this was a type of bookcase, where each mini circle was to hold a particular title.

But more importantly, she knew it was hers.

"Father, look what I found!"

She didn't look up at him to see his reaction, just reached down into her hole to up pick the coin. Hevlaska cradled it in her hands and brought it up to her chest.

_If only I hadn't found it._

It burned, oh, it burned. It burned through her hands, through her clothes, through her chest and before she passed out she saw her father's face hovering above her.

_If only I hadn't touched it._

When she awoke, it was almost evening and she was lying on the back seat of the jeep the group used to transport supplies. Her body tingled, pleasantly so, and it was no trouble to drift back into sleep. The second time she woke, she was in her bed in Be'er Sheva.

Her chest still tingled.

Hevlaska threw back the covers and hurried over to her mirror. Eyes closed, she undid the first three button of her sleeping gown and parted the fabric. Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes.

There, between her two budding breasts, was the coin. Her skin around the area was faintly glowing, but not enough to leak through her nightgown. It was scary, why was it there? She tried to pull it out of her chest, but it was smoothly connected to her skin. There was no edge to grasp, the only bumps the carvings on the coin.

Hurriedly, she dressed and went to find her father. The governess said he had returned to the dig, and she wasn't to ever go again.

It wasn't long before the glow around the coin spread so her entire body lit up to the point where it couldn't be hidden by fabric. If she left the house at night, people thought she was a ghost.

Her father had stayed at the dig for longer than usual, angry at her, but when he saw her changes he took an avid interest in them. He had her strip daily, measuring the expansion of the glow, the color bleaching from her hair. Hevlaska liked the attention, but he always ignored her questions.

"What's happening Father?" "While I turn normal?" "Am I dying?" He just dismissed them with a grunt.

_If only I hadn't annoyed him, he wouldn't have sent me away._

But he did, to the Queen of England. A glowing girl, skin and hair bleached in strike contrast to the dark brown of her eyes, whose color never changed.

It was there, living as another creature in the Queen's menagerie, she met demons.

_If only I hadn't insisted on going to the garden._

Hevlaska was always guarded, for while she was peaceful and meek there was always the chance something would change. For _she_ was changing; her height had increased, her hair became clumps and not strands, her breasts sunk away while her waist increased but her hips didn't. She no longer looked human.

The creature in front of her most certainly wasn't.

It was snake-like, body as thick as three men and the scales were a deep red color. Its head was a mallet, similarly red, and a flat, star printed face adorned each side of it.

"Exorccissst, you are to die, sssaysss the Earl."

It attacked, and all Hevlaska could do was dodge out of the way and roll. She didn't know how to fight and ran behind a fountain. Her guards, only two, attacked the snake and while she didn't watch their deaths she heard them.

"Exorccissst, I come."

She hiccupped and ran towards the rear of the garden, screaming for help while the snake slithered along behind her, laughing.

Help came in the form of the cook's assistant. He was coming through the back door, three pheasants hanging from his belt, and in his hand was a bow.

Hevlaska saw him and quickly ran towards him. "Help me, please, the demon-"

He didn't answer, but without hesitating he selected an arrow from the sheath on his back and notched the bow. The demon rounded the topiary of an elephant and the bow glowed, brighter than Hevlaska's skin and tinged with green.

The boy let loose the arrow, it glowed too, and struck the snake in the side. It hissed with pain.

"Two! There ssshould only be one exorccissst!"

It made to spit, but another arrow lodged in its throat, and then a third, a fourth. The boy only had one arrow left, and with perfect aim, shot it into on of its eyes. The demon hollowed and then turned into ash.

The boy was breathing hard and slowly Hevlaska released the back of his shirt. "Thank you," she breathed.

"Your welcome." He went to collect his arrows, no longer glowing but in perfect condition and bloodless, as if they were freshly made.

Hevlaska touched his bow. "You are linked to this. Strongly."

He blinked and turned his attention from the arrow in his hand to her palm on his weapon. "Yes, I made it myself."

"It likes you."

He gave her a strange look, as if to say wood doesn't have feelings, but then smiled. "I like it too."

The fight had been witnessed by palace guards, and it was quickly determined that exorcists and demons were linked with God. But the Church of England couldn't figure out anything else, and the two of them, Hevlaska and the cook's boy, Edward, were sent to the Vatican.

Where nightmares are born.

_If only I hadn't tried to prevent my death._

She and Edward arrived shortly before her father did. And while he didn't bring a glowing girl this time, he brought a glowing Cube.

He didn't even acknowledge Hevlaska aside from one might a growing albino monkey: interesting changes, must make note and study. Edward was affronted by his attitude, how could Hevlaska's father ignore her like that?, but was subjected to a similar surveillance. Your arrows glow? How peculiar. The most emotion he showed that first reunion was anger over not having anything of the demon to experiment with.

Unlike with the Queen, Hevlaska and Edward were not permitted to roam around the grounds. They were kept in separate, though near rooms, and were chaperoned to the washroom, to the dinning room, to the study rooms. Hevlaska missed the sun.

It was after a day of measurements, she was taller, her feet wider, her finger melding, that she asked the scientist taking notes of her appearance if she could see the Cube. It was on a table across the room and similar to how she had felt drawn to the coin, she was drawn to the metallic cube. No one had been able to understand what it was, or even begin to translate the script and the scientist saw no harm in handing it to her.

She understood. As soon as the Cube rested in her palm she could read the markings. And oh, what it said! A war of good and evil many years past, of Darkness, of Innocence, of battle.

The Pope took the information on the Cube and founded the Black Order.

_If only I hadn't asked to see the Cube._

Those first years were the most drastic; they built a towered headquarters near London and shut her in the basement. Hevlaska had changed so much she could not risk public eyes, and her height was now three times that of an average man. She became long and limber, lacking arms, and she wondered if she was turning into a demon like the snake that attacked her. But Edward, who had been forced to venture into the world to find more Innocence, brought back information instead.

"The snake demon was an akuma, a weapon of the Earl, who is the one that seeks to destroy the world. You are not one of those, you are an exorcist, and one who fights for humanity."

It was then she realized she was falling in love with him.

But she never fought for humanity, never fought period, for after much research it was determined that her Innocence was limited in offense capabilities. She was a storage container for them instead; a creature linked to the presence Innocence was instilled with. It made her father happy, but not her.

Hevlaska eventually learned that all her '_if only'_s were useless. The more the Order learned about Innocence, about its connection to exorcists, she realized that if she hadn't touched the coin on that fateful day she would have eventually. Not going to the dig would have bought her maybe a year or two more of a normal life but the final result would still be the same. She'd be locked underground by a religious order her father had a hand in creating and was now running. The Innocence would have found her, just as it found Edward.

There was no escape from the war.

It was rare, but Edward did return with extra Innocence. The first time he did, almost two years after the Order's founding, the scientists took it. Hevlaska did not see it for another five years.

Edward had brought back a small figure of a horse, what her father offered her was a pile of ground rock. Acting on instinct, like she did so often in the early years, she reached out a tendril to the dust on a handkerchief laid on her father's hand. It was hurting, the Innocence, nothing painful, but a dull throb like a twisted ankle, but that vanished as soon as she touched it.

_Home,_ the Innocence seemed to say. It glowed, green like Edward's when activated, reverted to its horse figure, and entered her. It was a strange feeling, like she had swallowed a large piece of steak without chewing, but vanished quickly to be replaced by the feeling of a full stomach. Hevlaska spent the rest of the day as subject to her father's questions and tests, the feeling of a happy meal evaporating as the day progressed.

The main problem the Order faced was a lack of members. Only Edward was out finding Innocence, and there was no way to know who was an exorcist. Hevlaska wanted more exorcists, if only to relieve the burden from his back. Every time Edward returned he was exhausted and underfeed, covered with new scars. It always amazed her that he had lasted so long against Akuma.

They knew Innocence would be attracted to its rightful user, as if they were magnets, as long as they were in close proximity. Keeping the Innocence at the Order, in Hevlaska, wasn't helping matters.

She was happy for the split second where this would mean she could travel to find accommodators, for surely the Innocence couldn't leave her, until she was proved otherwise. It was a harsh time, full of electric shocks and slashes to her belly. Eventually, one of the three Innocences inside her left of its own accord, parting with what seemed like _sorry._ It didn't like being the source of her pain.

It had resided in a necklace, and so the Order received permission to display it with some of the Queen's jewels. Three year later, shortly after the hire of a new maid, it latched itself onto her.

Fifteen years after the Order's founding, they had their second exorcist.

Hevlaska was sorry Sarah hadn't been found sooner. Edward was aging, past the prime of his life, and needed the help. Sarah would be a good help, though her synch rate was only 48%. It would grow.

Shortly after Sarah's discovery, Hevlaska's father brought her a child.

He introduced her as his daughter. She was her half sister. Hevlaska hadn't even known he had remarried until then.

She had leaned down to the girl's level, to introduce herself and make a friend, but as soon as Hevlaska shifted she cowered. Her shoulders hunched, her eyes darted to the floor after a quick look at her father. But he didn't care, he never would. Instead, he was staring at Hevlaska and for the first time she hated the undivided attention he was giving her.

"It seems Innocence is more likely to sync with women," he began "And runs in family lines. Sarah apparently is related to your Great Uncle Morris, who I haven't heard from since before I met your mother. I want you to place the Innocence in Brittney. "

Hevlaska hesitated. "But I don't know if that will work, and if she was an accommodator for any of the Innocence within me it would have already touched her."

"That's not to say she isn't an accommodator, and we just haven't found the Innocence belonging to her. Certainly, having her sync with another temporarily is best. It would allow her to get used to Innocence, and dear Edward certainly needs the help. I heard he almost lost an arm on his current mission."

And that's all she needed her hear. Because really, her father had only taught her that family meant nothing. And life taught her that friendship, possible love, did.

She forced the Innocence into Brittney's body.

Brittney died.

And when Hevlaska was alone again, body and scientists gone, she tried to cry. But by that time her eyes had gone and she couldn't.

_If only I hadn't listened to my father._

_If only I hadn't listened to him every single time._

Edward was the one and only thing that Hevlaska would do anything for. Her father brought him up every time a new child was brought before her and every time she caved. When Edward was dead and her father had been replaced by her youngest uncle, the same argument was used.

These exorcists are your friends, this will help them.

The more girls she killed, the more useless it was to protest. She had killed fifty, what difference was fifty-one?

She hadn't realized how depressed she was until a new scientist stumbled into her chamber ninety years after the Orders founding. At that point, she had cut herself off from the exorcists, not wanting to get attached, and the Black Order to her was not a means of saving the world but imprisoning those who were different.

Hevlaska paid the scientist no mind as he openly gapped at her from the platform stories above. Curled as she was on the floor, he probably just though he was staring at a pile of Innocence and not an exorcist.

"He~llo~!"

What an awfully cheerful voice.

"He~llo~!" He repeated, louder as if he believed she couldn't hear him the first time. She didn't answer this time either.

It didn't deter him though. He proceeded to babble down into her home, something about how his name was Koumi Lee, his sister was an exorcist, had she seen her?, and on and on about China. Thirty minutes of endless, one-sided chatter.

Hevlaska found it soothing, compared to the orders her relatives gave her. It was nice to hear words simply for conversation. They lulled her to sleep.

She didn't actually see what Koumi looked like till a week later during an experiment. He was oriental, China must have been his home, and his face was young. It also bore the evidence of sleepless nights, the kind brought by nightmares and not endless work. He had obviously been here long enough to see what the Order was doing to in an effort to increase its ranks.

She didn't look at him the entire time, but he could feel his horrified gaze shift to her every so often. There went the wish to hear him talk again, it wouldn't happen.

He surprised her by taking the elevator down that night. She was curled on the floor again, cat napping, and Koumi brought the platform as close to eye level as he could. She didn't know how he realized she was awake, she didn't have eyes, but when he spoke it was at a normal voice level.

"Can't sleep either?"

"I don't sleep. Or at least, not like you do. An hour is more than enough."

"Oh."

Hevlaska waited for him to fill up the silence like last time, but it didn't happen. And for the first time in years, she felt a desire to strike up a conversation and connect with someone.

"I do however understand why you can't."

Koumi shuttered, wrapping his arms around him. "Does, does that happen often?"

"Inserting Innocence into young girls? Not particularly. The family tends to have more sons than daughters."

"Doesn't make it less awful."

"No."

"Hevlaska, have you seen my sister? Her name's Lenalee. They won't let me see her, I don't have the rank, and I'm so worried."

"I've only seen one Asian girl in the past few months, so I assuming it's your sister. I saw her when she first arrived. She was scared, but I haven't seen her since. I do know however she has not been on missions."

"There's so many experiments, you don't, you don't think…"

Hevlaska shook her head. "The only thing I know for certain is that the Black Order is a terrible place, especially for exorcists."

"Well, now that my sweet Lenalee is here, that's not allowed. We'll have to fix that."

"We? Komui, I can't do anything. I'm, I'm a useful pet."

"Say no the next time Hevlaska. Who has the authority to stop the experiments?"

"The Head of the Science Division."

"Than I'll have to take his job. For Lenalee. And for you."

"Koumi…" Hevlaska barely knew this stranger, but already she liked him. She had figured out years ago that finding Innocence and changing form was inevitable, but there was nothing that said it had to result in something this awful. "If only we had met sooner, we could have saved so many."

"We will save many, starting now."

* * *

**A/N:** This fic is the result of a long DGM theory discussion/chapter analysis conversation with Patrick the Almighty Observer. It has spawned many a bunny.

I know several of your are waiting for me to finish Wings, I am working on it, but things are crazy in RL. I'm busy studying for the GMATs, a test that will determine what business school I can get into. On top of that, I'm trying to get my life together because come June 4th I'm leaving for Ethiopia with the Peace Corps. I'll have more details on my profile at a later date, but right now I'm really hungry and must go eat dinner. Or rather, make it.


End file.
